Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
