capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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