flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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