we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
either way he was missing a nipple.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
