So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
