She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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