Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
