CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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