One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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