i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
