Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
