Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
