So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
