I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
