Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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