K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
