I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we should paint friendship bongs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
