Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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