Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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