Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Randomize
