He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize