The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am midnight drunk by noon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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