Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize