She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
