But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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