There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
