I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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