...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
