Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
