he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
do herpes really smell.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
