Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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