That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
