Can Purell be used as lube?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And then my night got REAL pukey
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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