So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
