my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize