No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
