Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
