Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
