Don't you send me to vm
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
this will be a night to untag.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize