I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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