porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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