he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
