Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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