Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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