I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
