Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
