he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
