She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
