Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We have so much sex to catch up on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
