WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
