that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
