so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
