she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
