and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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