If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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