the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize